From Time to Time

From time to time 
Through the years 
The World has brought me down 
To teach me about pain 
And has filled my eyes with tears 
But there came a day 
That I started to understand 
That it is not about pain 
That the World is trying to teach me
But rather about Life
And the not so simple act
Of Being Human ...............................


Written by Chrystal Kleber 2009 

The Grass is Greener on the OTHERSIDE

The grass is greener on the otherside !

Have you heard the expression 'the grass is greener on the other side of the fence?' Well..... it's true. I know because once I climbed up and peeked over, and it was greener. It was beautiful. When I climbed up to the top of the fence, I sat there watching the people on the other side. They had such a contented look on their faces. Complacent almost... as if life was supposed to be that way. As I climbed back down, I noticed that the people on my side of the fence wore a different look. One that I understand, a look I have acquired myself. On my side of the fence I feel at home. It's not perfect here, the grass is sparse and there are rocks that pop up out of nowhere. But.... we all understand each other, on my side of the fence.We didn't choose to be on this side, but we know that even though life here is hard. . . we will survive. We know that sometimes we may peek over the fence and wish we were on the that greener plusher side. But then, we feel a hand tugging at our heels. . and we return. When we hear the laughter from the other side of the fence it sounds so beautiful. Then we remember that joy and sorrow walk hand in hand. We cannot truly appreciate one without the other. Sometimes when it's dark and I feel the pain of living on this side of the fence. I stop and realize that in the dark there is no difference. We all look to the light . . . no matter which side we are on. Yes the grass may be greener on the other side but there are so many joys on my side of the fence and I want to be able to enjoy them. . . without having to stop to mow the lawn...............................

Written By Chrystal Brown 2009 Aka Chrystal Kleber 

sands.................

Relationships - of all kinds - are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold on to some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost............
Written by :
Chrystal Brown 2006 Aka Chrystal Kleber 

Life

Life.........
My life has many pages
Some I wish to burn
Lessons taught, lessons learned
bridges crossed , bridges burned
A new start I begin,
A clear sheet,
Hoping to write
Only happy moments
As I await and anticipate
Like a clean sheet of paper
Of what’s to come,
Only time will tell
How it will be ,
Will this be another
Sheet with words
Of bitter misery,
My heart is at its limit
On the pain it can take,
I seek peace,a single moment of serenity
Not another minute do I want to waste ,
For its of Happiness I wish to write in this book of life
done with chapters filled with page after page of strife ,
longing to fill pages with sunshine and laughter,
These Writings within me longing to escape
Soon I hope I'll put ink to paper
Breathe life into the words
written in my heart
that are true and complete....

By : Chrystal Brown Aka Chrystal Kleber 2006 :)

Emotional Vampires

Emotional vampires....

I think we've all had one of *those* people in our lives. ( I happen to have alot of those people in my life ) The emotionally draining . The me-me-me-me-centered people. The ones where you ask how are you and they can go on for hours and hours.. for me I can only take this personality for a small amount of time. It's mentally and emotionally exhausting. I call them EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES . They aren't *bad* people, I'm sure if they really knew the hurt they caused they wouldn't be so demanding. I wonder if they even KNOW  they're being demanding.

I am an  introverted person, very quiet ,soft spoken , undemanding, I get lost in big crowds and I don't feel alone when I'm alone. I enjoy being alone. Being in big crowds for a long period of time makes me uncomfortable .

I do 99% of my "social" time amongst immediate family and online . I've always expressed myself better in written word than spoken word. (maybe from years of being ignored and being told how to feel, I don't know).At  any rate, I've definitely noticed that *those* people are always there. I don't chat a lot online much anymore. I get online to see whats going on in everyones lives via FB . And when I do chat I say very little. Some people want to chat to personal. Some people only want to chat about themselves. Some people want to reach in and "force" themselves into my life.

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic . I don't mean to be harsh or judgmental. I don't mean to be uncaring or unloving. quite the opposite. I'm very caring and loving .  I believe everyone deserves to be happy, everyone deserves to be loved, everyone deserves to be adored and respected. I want people to be happy. But what's the line between I want you to be happy but be quiet ? Boundaries are something that haven't been "allowed" in my upbrining.I was raised to be polite , maybe too polite ! Someone asks you something--you HAVE to answer. Someone invites you somewhere--you HAVE to go. There are no limits there is no end. Be "nice". Smile, be happy. Even when you feel drained, run over, used, betrayed. No isn't an option. Even with my own children !!

It's sad and hurtful when these personalities are in our relationships either personal, friendships ,or families . The line gets blurred even more. Is it acceptable to say to a family member, friend or significant other  I love you,  I want you to be happy but please be quiet , please no MORE ? Or NO I can't do that for you . I just can't bring myself to say NO . I'm a DOORR MAT!!   A lot of people would say no there's nothing wrong with saying NO . That it's not  rude or selfish but on the other hand isn't it selfish for one person to be completely demanding all the time? Is it fair for one person to make constant requests, and when the other person asks for  something they hear no?  Aren't relationships supposed to be equal? Since when is it okay for one person to take complete control of another human being?

I haven't even remotely figured this out. I'm not an argumentive person. I hate conflict. I hate arguing .Don't get me wrong , I do speak out when I'm pushed and when I know in my heart something isn't right, and when the other person denies it, it is very hurtful .I try to make EVERYONE HAPPY BUT IN THE PROCESS I MAKE MYSELF MISERABLE so when I speak up  it causes conflit , and a disagreement breaks out it  makes me want to say I love you, but please  be quiet . Just my opinion........................

 

 

 

 Written by Chrystal Kleber 3/3/2011

Please do not copy without my permission

I forgive you

I forgive you


You,That have trespassed against me.
You,That have taken words and used them to hurt me.
You,That have taken from the start and broken my heart.
You,That try to take all that I am.
Even now,You try to take my most valuable treasures.
Those things that define "ME"
You, who have hurt me beyond measure in this sick and twisted game.
You,Who derive pleasure from my pain.
You,Who have left me broken and bruised.
You,With your heart full of anger.
I give you one last thing.
I forgive you,That have trespassed against me.
I forgive you seven times seventy!
And I pray that you,
One Day Will Find and Know
What LOVE Really Is!


Chrystal K. 2011