Emotional Vampires

Emotional vampires....

I think we've all had one of *those* people in our lives. ( I happen to have alot of those people in my life ) The emotionally draining . The me-me-me-me-centered people. The ones where you ask how are you and they can go on for hours and hours.. for me I can only take this personality for a small amount of time. It's mentally and emotionally exhausting. I call them EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES . They aren't *bad* people, I'm sure if they really knew the hurt they caused they wouldn't be so demanding. I wonder if they even KNOW  they're being demanding.

I am an  introverted person, very quiet ,soft spoken , undemanding, I get lost in big crowds and I don't feel alone when I'm alone. I enjoy being alone. Being in big crowds for a long period of time makes me uncomfortable .

I do 99% of my "social" time amongst immediate family and online . I've always expressed myself better in written word than spoken word. (maybe from years of being ignored and being told how to feel, I don't know).At  any rate, I've definitely noticed that *those* people are always there. I don't chat a lot online much anymore. I get online to see whats going on in everyones lives via FB . And when I do chat I say very little. Some people want to chat to personal. Some people only want to chat about themselves. Some people want to reach in and "force" themselves into my life.

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic . I don't mean to be harsh or judgmental. I don't mean to be uncaring or unloving. quite the opposite. I'm very caring and loving .  I believe everyone deserves to be happy, everyone deserves to be loved, everyone deserves to be adored and respected. I want people to be happy. But what's the line between I want you to be happy but be quiet ? Boundaries are something that haven't been "allowed" in my upbrining.I was raised to be polite , maybe too polite ! Someone asks you something--you HAVE to answer. Someone invites you somewhere--you HAVE to go. There are no limits there is no end. Be "nice". Smile, be happy. Even when you feel drained, run over, used, betrayed. No isn't an option. Even with my own children !!

It's sad and hurtful when these personalities are in our relationships either personal, friendships ,or families . The line gets blurred even more. Is it acceptable to say to a family member, friend or significant other  I love you,  I want you to be happy but please be quiet , please no MORE ? Or NO I can't do that for you . I just can't bring myself to say NO . I'm a DOORR MAT!!   A lot of people would say no there's nothing wrong with saying NO . That it's not  rude or selfish but on the other hand isn't it selfish for one person to be completely demanding all the time? Is it fair for one person to make constant requests, and when the other person asks for  something they hear no?  Aren't relationships supposed to be equal? Since when is it okay for one person to take complete control of another human being?

I haven't even remotely figured this out. I'm not an argumentive person. I hate conflict. I hate arguing .Don't get me wrong , I do speak out when I'm pushed and when I know in my heart something isn't right, and when the other person denies it, it is very hurtful .I try to make EVERYONE HAPPY BUT IN THE PROCESS I MAKE MYSELF MISERABLE so when I speak up  it causes conflit , and a disagreement breaks out it  makes me want to say I love you, but please  be quiet . Just my opinion........................

 

 

 

 Written by Chrystal Kleber 3/3/2011

Please do not copy without my permission